


Are we still talking about blood?

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Extended Metaphors, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The author is as subtle as a rock, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, spoiler for let the right one in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22646929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: Nandor drinks Guillermo's blood... and that's it? Not if the other roommates get involved!
Relationships: Colin Robinson/Evie Russell, Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Are we still talking about blood?

**Author's Note:**

> This story was born out of a discussion between several friends a long time ago. I remembered it and decided to write this story. Also no sex, sorry. And the author isn't in bdsm (or just experimenting with light vanilla stuff) but has several friends who aren't idiots 50 shades fans and rather in healthy relationships with bdsm.  
> Also, spoiler for movie Let the right one in . In my defense, that movie is 12 years old.

Guillermo heard a din of all the devils in the hall. He approached cautiously and picked up one of the decorative weapons in the corridor. He advanced slowly, ready to defend his skin as best he could. But all he found was his master, his clothes covered in blood and erratic.

-Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!!! scolded Nandor as he removed the stake from his chest.  
-Master, what happened? Guillermo asked.  
-Fucking vampire hunter!  
-Oh, my God! What should I tell the others?  
-No...need...He...is...dead...but...I...need...

His master's red eyes soon made Guillermo realize what he needed. His first instinct was to rush to the basement to look for a victim, but Nandor's damage seemed extensive. It might take too long and the blood in the fridge was losing quality. When seriously injured, vampires need good quality blood for heal. 

-Master, if you don't take too much... I can give you some of mine so you'll be strong enough to feed off one of the reserves in the cellar, he said, undoing the cuff of his shirt.

Nandor looked at him before smiling (it was probably meant to be reassuring but it had the opposite effect).

-You're a good familiar, Guillermo.

And he threw himself on Guillermo's wrist.

Passing the initial pain, numbness appeared and Guillermo came to concentrate only on the sounds of his master's succession. He just had to stay calm, it was like giving blood to the red cross or a mother breastfeeding her baby. Yeah, maybe think of a better metaphor. The first was too clinical and the second just... not sure breastfeeding women have that kind of thinking when they're feeding their babies. But then it got hard to keep his eyes open.

-Master...I don't feel well...  
-Hop, I've got you! Says Nandor in much better shape catching his familiar before he collapses. -Let's get you into bed!  
-Bed...?  
-Well, it's not like you're in any condition to do your chores, right? It's not a big deal. You'll do them tomorrow after you get some rest, Nandor continued, taking off Guillermo's shoes and placing him in his bed. -Good night, Guillermo.  
-Good night, master... said Guillermo, closing his eyes.

Nandor walked away satisfied and ran into Nadja. 

-Nandor?! What happened?  
-A vampire hunter attacked me but I managed to kill him!  
-The blood on your clothes smells like you, says Nadja worried.  
-Oh, it's okay. Guillermo gave me his, and I feel better.  
-What about Guillermo?  
-Well, he's tired, as you can imagine. But it's all right, I put him to bed and told him he could wait until tomorrow for his chores.  
-And that's it? scream Nadja.  
-Uh... yeah, why?  
-You bloody idiot! shouted Nadja to him before walk away.  
-What? What did I do? Nadja!

-Nadja! Nadja! Will you explain, damn it?  
-May I know what's going on? Laszlo asked coldly, placing himself between his wife and Nandor.  
-Ask her! She insulted me for no reason!  
-I think if my dear lady wife is upset, she must have a good reason.  
-He's a bloody moron, that's what he is!  
-I'm sure you're right, but maybe give me some details about why he's a moron please?

Nadja sighed but answered:  
-He drank Guillermo's blood and all he did was put him to bed!  
-It's a little cold. Is that all he wanted? ask Laszlo.  
-What? What are you talking about? scream confus Nandor.  
-After he gave you his blood, going to bed was all he wanted? I know some people like to be alone afterwards but usually a warm blanket or something to eat is never refused...  
-...I think we're having two different discussions, said Nandor deciding that he could live with not understanding what the heck was the other two's problem.  
-No, what my husband is trying to kindly explain is that you drank the blood of your familiar and left him alone without any comfort! scream angry Nadja.  
-Hey, he offered it to me! And he's not a child, I don't see why...  
-I would feel horrible if Nadja left me without doing anything after every time she drank my blood, said Laszlo looking sad.

Nandor froze when he heard his sentence.

-Every time? Does Nadja drink your blood regularly? asks Nandor disgustedly.  
-And he drinks mine, says Nadja, passing a protective arm against her husband. -There's nothing wrong with that.  
-Sure, it's like you're spitting in each other's mouths, but hey, there's nothing wrong with that I guess!  
-Don't judge them because you're a prude, Nandor. 

Everyone turned around to see Colin who had just entered the room.

-I'm not a prude! Just not a pervert like them!  
-Being comfortable with someone to the point of leaving them at their mercy when they are at their most vulnerable is probably one of the most beautiful proofs of trust you can give someone. I don't see anything pervers in there," Colin continued coldly. -But you're right, maybe prude isn't the right word. Over seven centuries, 37 women and a lot of fail relationships after that, I guess. And yet, you never trusted or felt safe enough to leave yourself to someone else's mercy. Probably because you know yourself incapable of doing it for someone else. I suppose it's a form of courage to admit your weakness, Nandor, concludes the energy vampire with a venomous smile. 

Colin had hit Nandor below the belt and it hurt. The eldest vampire screamed with red eyes and exposed fangs: 

-SHUT THE FUCK UP Colin Robinson! You don't know what you're talking about, you just want my energy!

Colin didn't seem to impress even though his smile had left him. Despite the energy he was getting, he seemed in a bad mood. He finally said:

-I'm never going to say no to energy giving away so freely, but you're wrong.I broke up with my last girlfriend for this exact reason.  
-Colin Robinson, we had no idea! said Nadja with a worried expression.  
-That's okay. She was an emotional vampire, they're pretty... intense. She made me feel the best and the worst.I...I don't regret our time together, but I was beginning to see the effects on me. So, I'd rather we just break up.  
-Feeds off each other's energy! Whistle Laszlo. -That sounds intense.  
-It's gross, I'm think gonna get sick in my mouth., Nandor said with a look of disgust.  
-Oh shut up! says Nadja angry. -You're not in a position to judge anyone!  
-You know, Colin Robinson, I'm sure it was a hard decision but it's probably for the best. You have to listen to your boundaries at the end of the day," said Laszlo.  
-Thanks for the sympathy, Laszlo. Not my favorite, but I always appreciate it when people voluntarily feed me, smile Colin.  
-You're a fucking hypocrite! You're taking our energy without permission as far as I know! What's the difference between you with us and me with Guillermo?  
-Everybody's my prey, you're my goats. I take the wool and the milk but I don't eat you and I make sure I don't overwork you. When was the last time you paid for electricity, water, heating or any other convenience? 

Nandor was shocked by Colin's question, looking for a repartee before he chickened out:

-Fine, I'm the prude in the story! But what you do among yourselves is not comparable to me drinking Guillermo's blood, Nandor says.  
-You're right. Me,Laszlo and Colin Robinson could potentially defend ourselves if someone crossed our line...But not Guillermo. Because he's just a human, the scales will always tip to your side, Nadja says coldly. -He had no proof that you would stop if things went wrong, and history proved that if there was any damage, you wouldn't care.  
-I didn't mean to...  
-But you did it anyway!" Laszlo got angry.  
-Someone submitting totally to your power should be treated like the gift that he is, says Nadja as she grabs Laszlo's face for a quick kiss.  
-And that's why no matter what happens, you know you'll always be safe. You can say no and your partner will never be angry, completed Laszlo kissing his wife back.  
-All right, said Nandor, feeling that things might get out of hand if this continued. -What do the three of you do after... Feed of each other?

Everyone looked at each other before Laszlo broke the silence:

-Well, that depends. Everyone's different, Nandor. Nadja and I go in opposite directions in our needs.  
-I need some time to myself. Laszlo helps me get comfortable and then he leaves me alone until I feel ready, explain Nadja.  
-I'm using this time to fix her a drink and run her a nice bath. I wash her hair, do her nails, I want to make sure she feels pretty.  
-When the roles are reversed, for example, Laszlo stops being a vampire and turns into a koala bear. He likes me to stay with him and only when he's calm enough I get up to give him a refreshment. But after that, it's pretty simple. He just likes to rest against me and sometimes he likes to be read to, explain Nadja.  
-I don't want to give Guillermo a bath! And what kind of book would I read to him?  
-That's what works for us, you don't have to do the same thing. Just ask, okay? said Nadja.  
-For what it's worth, I suggest you feed and hydrate him," says Colin.  
-That's right, they give cookies and juice in the blood bank! Says Laszlo. -If he's got any favourite food you could give him!  
-You can watch something he likes. Evie and I have been watching community TV together or listening to contemporary jazz...  
-Would a shower be acceptable? Nandor asked quickly.  
-Just put him in a warm, comfortable place and tell him the same kind of crap you said at the hospital, concluded Nadja. -That would be the minimum of decency.  
-Fine, I will try, finally said Nandor.

-Guillermo, Guillermo wake up... GUILLEEEERMOOOO!!!!  
-What, what...who...?  
-Guillermo, I thought it would be important that after the generous blood donation you give me that you feed and hydrate yourself. 

Nandor put a tray in his familiar's lap. 

-Oh thank you master. 

Guillermo watches the meal on his lap beford he smile. 

-Oh, Greek take-out. It's my favorite, thank you!  
-You need to drink your juice too and eat the chocolate cookie too. Also brush your teeth because this stuff has so much garlic in it, that awful!  
-No problem, master!...Uh, master...  
-Yes?  
-You gonna stay with me while I eat? Guillermo asked when he saw the vampire sitting next to his bed as if he had been put in the corner.  
-Well, I'd like to do something other than watch you eat, if I'm offered a choice.  
-I had downloaded a movie to my computer if you'd like.  
-What movie?  
-Let the right one in. I've read the novel and seen the American remake but I've been told the original is better.It's a vampire movie...  
-Off course, it this.  
-It's a Swedish romantic horror movie.  
-Romantic horror? Like Twilight? Nandor asked curiously.  
-Uh... I think there are similar elements. They're closer to the realily about vampire mythology in this movie. Do you want to watch the first half hour and then leave if it bore you?  
-All right, let's give it a try.

Two hours later

-I'm so glad Oskar and Eli are running away together! Nandor said who wasn't holding back from crying at all.  
-Yeah, me too. It's a really good movie.  
-Oskar's his familiar now or Eli's going to turn him in your opinion?  
-The author said that Eli turning Oskar into a vampire.  
-Perfect! Sure it's gonna be hard to find fake parents but I'm sure they'll make it. 

Guillermo finds it hard not to smile when he sees his master so invested in the fate of two imaginary characters. He is pretty adorable and dorky. 

-What did you love the most? Nandor asked suddenly.  
-I hesitate between the moment when Eli saves Oskar from the bully or the scene when Oskar tells her that he loves her even though she's not a girl.  
-He! I know Eli doesn't seem difficult on pronouns, but just because he's a eunuch doesn't mean he should be feminized against his will.  
-You're quite right, Master. More people should think like you.  
-Of course they should....Guillermo  
-Yes, Master?  
-You're a good familiar, too, and... I'd even call you a friend. Not in public, but definitely in front of others.  
-Wow, master! That really nice of you. 

Guillermo wasn't even being sarcastic. He meant it. His master seemed to be really trying to create a relationship that was closer to friendship than just business. They're still far from talking like equals, but hey, Guillermo would encourage good behavior when he see it.

-I'm not nice! I just honest, ok?  
-Off...

Guillermo suddenly yawned.

-Sorry, I just...  
-Tired. It's okay, you should go back to sleep, Nandor said as he closed the computer and replaced Guillermo's blanket.  
-Thank you, master. Don't worry, I don't forget my duties.  
-I said tomorrow, but I never said what time. Technically, as long as you start before midnight, you do what I say.  
-Alright, good night, master.  
-Good night, Guillermo.

**Author's Note:**

> So a long time ago, me and some friends were talking about the famous blood-drinking-sex metaphor in vampire stories. I made the comment that I think it only works if we talk about a bdsm relationship (given the balance of power and the risk). My best friend who I love (hello if you're reading this) and who is in a stable relationship with her boyfriend that involves BDSM said that if that's the case, vampires are assholes with their partners in most fiction. And me saying it's true but that it would be cool to have a story with a vampire who drinks his partner's blood (human or vampire) and gives him aftercare afterwards. My friend said if I find it, she'll read it. Well, I couldn't, so I wrote it down.  
> Also, the original Let the right one in is one of the best vampire romance ever. Fight me.


End file.
